Have i been making mistakes too long part 5

[tkdmme]

Azz,

I understand what you mean and I agree.

Im looking forward to this weekend. Im still bummed that the W is not going but after thinking hard about it, I think im bummed because of selfish reasons. I know I will be wondering what she is doing while we are away. Its not so much that I want her to be there. She is actually kind of a downer these days.

I just wish I knew whether there was someone else involved in this or not. I keep going back and forth. She told me yesterday that she was going to visit a mutual friend (recently divorced female) next weekend for the friends 40th bday. I know that it is indeed the friends bday but I shudder at the thought of what they will be doing. This is my Ws best friend from high school and they are both heavy drinkers. The friend is also not exactly the modest type. My W however has always been very modest in her dress and demeanor.

Anyway, I just worry that her friend will influence her to do something immoral while she is away.

I don't know why I keep fixating on what she will do. And I don't know why I keep posting these things fully knowing that this is the wrong way to think at this point. Im only human and I get upset and worried sometimes.

This is just so exhausting and I need a break. I need so badly for something good to happen in my life right now. This has been the worst year of my life by far. Everything seems to be falling apart.

Ok, sorry for the pity party. Life goes on, right?