You NEVER think this will happen to you....

[shodan]

Thank you for sharing your story. I sense the deep love that you have for your wife and why you are struggling.

Sandi and others are better suited to help you with your next steps.However, I would like to ask you about your M before the A. What has your W said to you about the M? About you? How much of it do you think is true? Have you started working on yourself, for yourself? Can you use the A as a learning opportunity to become a better man, better husband, better friend, etc.? the A is a symptom of a deeper issue...what were/are the issues in your M?

re: you wife's apparent lack of desire to work on the M...as you know you cannot control her. The only thing you can control is your own words, thoughts and actions. Nothing else. You may be able to influence her to want to work on the M, but you cannot force her to.