To me it seems like she is playing a power game..at times pursuing..texting me "l love you" "its always been you" but then she goes back to blaming me for all the faults of our M, and doesn't understand the pain her A has caused.
After I found out she was still talking to OM, I talked at her about the A. Very accusatory, mean, direct. Basically raw emotions. As you mentioned pushing guilt will get me nowhere..she responds by going right back to how upset with our M she was.
I really think we can have a very happy marriage, but she doesn't seem willing to want to work to rebuild my trust. Since my W and OM still work together, its hard for me to believe they don't talk. Especially after the conversation I heard them having in the past.
Here's a perfect example...this weekend after reading your posts, and re-studying the 37 rules. I dedicated myself. So while on a work trip I don't call or check in, waiting her W to call first. She doesn't. I get home at 10:30 PM and she isn't here...of course my mind wanders. Is she with OM? After being caught in an A, being gone this late w/out checking in is beyond messed up. But i don't panic, call or accuse. Just go to bed. WELLL...she comes home and berates ME for not checking in on her. I feel like everything backfired.
If W wants me to check in and call, show emotion towards her is that a good sign? Should i start to be more aggressive in trying to re-establish an emotional connection?
