Moving Through it 11

[duke]

Hi HeavyD

Vanilla suggested I ask you about this situation, please see below and any help or advice is muchly appreciated:
Questions for the board:

So W is working now full time and has our 3 D's pretty much full time. I see them a couple of days a week until things get settled. I have really been easy going on the whole thing thinking that she may have a change of heart and want to work it out. I now realize that this is out of the question. Now that I have given up on that idea I actually feel a lot better. I am focussing on my D's a lot more and want to increase the amount of time I spend with them and they stay over with me. In the past I hadn't pushed it too much because I didn't want to make W angry. She had used them against me a few times to get me to meet with L and mediators faster. I am really seeing what an evil person she is capable of being and what has probably been brewing just below the surface forever. Her entire family is divorced and each of her siblings never speaks with their X's and openly says they hate them. My W's mother is a piece of work. She is the ring leader of all of them. She is D with her H who is an amazing guy and my vote for Saint for putting up with her as long as he did. She never speaks to him and drove him out of the country. She is the most negative person you will ever meet and absolutely thrives on the drama of the divorce of all of her kids. Its like it gives her a purpose in life. Anyways, enough about that mess. My W has all of a sudden released her mother's DNA and is just being vicious. I gave her whatever she wanted from the house contents and she still harassed me for little things. She jumped up and down like a little spoiled 3 year old about a pair of speakers saying we had an agreement. I said why am I the only one who has to stand up to my agreements? She agreed to "let" me drive the family to the airport when they went on a month long trip, changed her mind at the last minute and didn't even have the decency to tell me. What happened to that agreement? Also there was the agreement that we made in front of all our family and friends and God with vows call our marriage, till death do us part, in good times and bad... what about that agreement?

Ok... breath...

I am going to send her a shared online calendar that I want her to fill out for the regular weekly planned events (bball practices, girl guides, soccer...). When she sends it back we will decide when I get the G's to stay over. I already made it clear I don't want both of my nights (if that is what I get) to be the busiest nights with nothing but driving around like a mad man with getting up super early for something else. I made it clear I want nights when I can spend quality time with them playing games or watching a movie, doing homework that type of thing.

Is this not realistic? She will try to give the worst nights she does not want and say "I have them 5 days a week, 24 hours a day do all the cooking, cleaning..." to which I will say - ya, but you fired me from that job, remember? I was more than happy to help pull my share right along side of you.

The next question is: the nights that I don't have the G's she will expect me to drive them around probably 2-3 nights per week if not more and again it will be the crappy nights and events she does not want to do. She will pick the closer shorter events where she can sit on her a$$ and talk with her friends.

I am stuck with these as I want to see my kids whenever I can and support them as best I can but I don't want to be the beck and call taxi driver for my W, who fired me.

Any comments and/or suggestions?