Just caught up on your thread, and I am heartbroken for you, but as an outsider I too am viewing it as a great loss for your husband. The love and respect you have for him is so obvious and he is giving this up for something superficial. Yes it is painful, but you will be able to look back on your life and your decisions with self respect and confidence. You and your children will look back and reflect on your strength and strong survival skills.
I know this sounds petty and Unenlightened...I'm a newbie, but I always think about the OW/OM being a big downsize. I mean seriously, what type of characteristics does a person have to have to knowingly involve themselves in a relationship with someone that has a family? You really are the catch!
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
