From what I have read is that she needs to get it out of her system and it doesn't seem like is going to happen anytime soon but unfortunately there is nothing you can do but work on yourself, try and get some sleep, workout even if its 10 pushups a day, read a book, read positive quotes, read the bible go to Psalms, call you family and tell them how you feel, get it out of your system.
You need to take care of yourself to be able to take care of your kids.
I feel you, and that's the important part in detaching right. Until I get there I will continue to be affected with what she is doing, stressing it, and being controlled by it.
I will definitely work on your suggestions, reading the bible (Psalms), Positive quotes, my family has been great through this, they call me often. I need to hit the gym or do calisthenics at home when I can't make it.
I have been journaling all day, and it seems to have help me a lot in getting to a calm place.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
So called the W to see how the first day of school when for S7 today, she mentioned he was having a half-a-day today and that she will pick him up early. When speaking to her, she mentions that she was wrong, no early dismissal, she continues to ask if I am coming home tonight, I told her I wasn't (honestly, I need to stay at my moms tonight to just get a little distance from this thing); She continues to say "Oh, damn, I need to cancel this dinner tonight" I said I guess so, but SERIOUSLY, she was expecting me to stay with the kids again tonight while she went out to dinner?
I love spending time with my kids, I find myself doing it a lot but she seems quick to want to have her "wonderful" life free of responsibilities.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
Yes good on standing up for yourself, you need to teach her that they are her kids as well as yours, 50/50 or they will use up all that free time to get to OM..
Thank you brother. It just surprises me how she could come out and just assume these things. I found a sense of peace from all the journaling, so I am actually calm, thank God.
I plan on continuing to take my own space and time, at least until I am back to my good mental and emotional states. I have to continue to GAL stopped for a bit, will be having dinner with a friend tonight, Goal is to not speak about my situation all night. Joined a Divorce Men support group and plan on attending it's first meeting tomorrow. Let me see how that goes. I saw that my church had a divorce retreat, I may be interested in doing that.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
EMMess, I have been through feeling physically, mentally and emotionally drained but hang in there. Your kids need you. Eventually you will be so tired that you will naturally fall asleep.
I use valerian, camomile herbal plant to help me to sleep. Don't forget that God is looking after you.
EM, I can't get past your wife's comment about "telling her male "friends" that she is worry for my sanity, and how I am behaving like a "Single White Female" "
WTF, this is wrong on so many levels I can't even think straight. Let's not even talk about cruel.
The sooner you develop your own life, the healthier you be.
Good morning, and a rainy morning it is where I reside....
Yet, I had a great day, did some calisthenics this morning, meditated, and journaled. Today so far has been a good day. I slept through the night and it feels good to be rested.
I am working on letting things go, journaled to myself that I need to accept the end of my M, and that I need to let my W follow her journey and path. I feel at ease right now, not being around her, and not being reminded of what I found.
ILYNOT - thank you so much brother, your support and pride in me means a lot during this time. I will journal about the D group tomorrow morning and let you know how it goes. I started reading Psalms this morning and reading Positive life quotes. Thank you for the suggestions.
Rouky - thank you so much! I have been drinking a lot of Chamomile and yesterday's dinner with my friend was at a tea house, so had a great Jasmine tea, really relaxed me (probably helps that I drink an entire tea pot ). I will look into the valerian as well.
Mutatio - I know what you mean my friend. It hurts to have found that out. This is a woman with whom I spent 10 years of my life, I love her still, and I am working on forgiving her, she is dealing with her own stuff and my snooping and mood swings are probably making it harder. I don't excuse how she decided to handle it, but I am not trying to pass judgement. I will focus on myself, and becoming EM 2.0. For now, I am keeping a distance till I am at a calmer state.
I really appreciate all the support, I know this is going to continue to be a roller coaster ride, but one day at a time, today is gonna be my day, our Lord has something greater and better in store for us all, and we need to have faith on his plans for us. God Bless.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
I am still in a good place this morning, but of course I have bouts with missing my W. It hurts to know that she is sharing herself with others, even if not at such a deep level than me. I think what I miss is the fact that she shows more interest in talking to them, talking to them about her day, about what's going on, than with me. I know it is to be expected as she wants space and time from me, as well as the fact that she says she is done with this R. I am working on accepting that this is where I am at this place in my R with her at the moment.
Working on PMA, detaching plans for tonight is a work event and Divorce group directly after.
I am planning on keeping some distance as I feel I need to focus on my mental and emotional states as my priority right now, don't know if this is the best approach for my R but I know it is for my sanity; when I am around her, all I can think of is her phone and who she is talking to. So I need to get that under control. I don't want to give her more reasons to talk and make a joke off of me as previously.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
). I will look into the valerian as well.