I understand your comments about leaving her alone and respecting she is a grown woman.
What I find hard to understand is backing off say about the licence. She would still take the car and in case of an accident I would have to get involved. As for finding work, she said she couldnt handle it and stopped doing anything to even try and if I could. I took over sending her CV to job placement companies. All she focused on was going to the gym and getting into the EA. I cant see how in anyone's books that is doing anything to help get a job. She is BTW now actively looking after I mentioned she was doing nothing about it from what I saw. She couldnt say one piece of evidence that she had tried. If Im understanding, your opinion is that after reminding her once or twice, that she would ignore her license renewal and drive illegally? I have a hard time believing it. But I suppose it's possible. In my opinion, you could offer to help a little, but it sounds like to commandeered it to make sure it gone done. Same with the CVs. I would have said that you wanted her to look for something that she would enjoy. You can help her with reviewing the documents or something. But I think to just take over is not healthy.
As for her tendons we did stop a long time ago.
As for today, we discussed about one of the gyms and the timetable came up of the classes. Some weeks ago she said she wanted to go to a class at 14:00 and I was upset because it meant eating alone. She would come at 11:30 do the food for me and my son, have a coffee and then leave. (I now know I should have let her do her thing). Now she also says there is a class at 16:00 so I ask her why she doesnt do it and she first said because she would not be here for our son when he arrived. I replied he is a grown man and if the food is done there shouldnt be a problem. Also, I would be here so he doesnt eat alone. She then said that before I did mind and got angry. So I told her I was wrong before and if she wanted to do it it was her choice and her life and I really had other priorities at this moment than argue about her gym classes.
later on, I casually asked if she was still going to go the gym I was at because I was paying for 2 people and it was pointless. She got upset and had tears and told me to do what I wanted. That something was up since this morning and when I said why did she get to almost crying she said she didnt she was just angry.
Looking back, the 3 issues I see that could have affected her are:
a) Not picking her up at 9 hurriedly as I did before b) Telling her to do what she wants as it is her life (in general) and going back on my previous opinion about her timetable for the gim c) Asking about removing her from the gym
I wonder what message I am giving out to her? Should I care?
Who knows? Maybe it's cloudy? Maybe she slept badly? Maybe her leg is hurting? Could be anything. I wouldnt focus too much into it.
