as_it_is - my adventure continues (part 4)

[asitis]

I did have to deal w/ that during the height of the anger stage and before I learned the difference between ending the pursuit and END THE PURSUIT. What I mean by that is that while I thought I had stopped pursuing by not initiating contact other than when it was an issue concerning the kids/co-parenting, I was still subtly pursuing her in may ways.

The other thing was really learning to listen & validate better to her anger, then come back the next day or so & tell her I thought about what she said & revalidate. Helped to go away for over two weeks as well.

So, nothing specific to say, but it is a signal that you may still be pursuing in ways you don't realize and she is responding to the threat w/ distancing defense.