Hey cattlekid, mucho karma points for putting forth an effort to try to fix things! 1. You indicate you've tried everything to fix your lagging libido. Have you talked to your ob/gyn? Done any tests on hormone levels? How old are you? Is sex painful? Testosterone cream has been shown to be helpful. Don't waste your money on Avilimil or any homeopathic libido remedies.
2. My wife's accused me of saying hateful things to try to get her to change her mind about sex, but sheesh, nothing I've said even comes close to what your H, Mr. Suave, said to you. One thing my W has said is "Do you think that saying that (or doing that) is going to make my heart melt? No. It just makes me think what a jerk you're being, and I don't want to have sex with a jerk." It took a few dozen times hearing that, but I think I finally got it. I think that you biting your tongue was admirable, but you might just end up with a sore tongue. But, rather than starting a raging argument, have you tried to use humor to defuse the situation? For example, you wrote:
Quote: "I have come to a conclusion..." then paused at which time he said "that you don't want to have sex anymore".
Maybe you could have said: 1.No, but that's not a bad idea. I wish I'd thought of it. 2.Not exactly. Just that I don't want to have sex with YOU. 3.Well, at least not until the scabs fall off. 4.Just not on days ending in "Y" I know, these are really offensive, but said with a smile and a wink, they might catch him off guard, and maybe make him smile.
Also, you said you went to a sex therapist. Why not just a marriage counselor?
Finally, how do you define SSM? How often are you guys doing "it"?
Hairdog, who asks every question for a reason, even if it is for his own prurient interest.
