Ok, I have been here since June 30th, 2015. I have yet to make any progress with my wife. I have read the DR book, had a counseling session, and been posting and reading here on the BB.
I obviously am a problem to accomplishing my end Goal which is getting family back and that starts with my wife. Now, I am finding it difficult to stay dark or give her space because I want to speak to my boys (9,6,2)every night so I can wish them sweet dreams and good night. Wife always is monitoring. I think it's because my oldest and I are very close and she knows that he doesn't want to be there and she says I sway him to think that. I honestly don't. As a matter of fact I try to listen and support his feeling and acknowledge he is hurting inside. I just can't ignore him or say let's not talk about it.
Anyway, how in the world do I 180/LRT or what have you when I have to interact with my wife daily about the kids and I also have to ask her about things regarding the kids? I have to know or if she is on welfare or assistance because she just filed for Child Support (I'm sure her Mother told her too follow a program step, b/c wife is always speaking of process and steps). I don't know about welfare or the assistance programs.
The lawyer is working on Paperwork. I was told to consider full custody cause I can only go down from there, but it will really eat at my wife and have her go buzzerk and not want to work together for a peaceful custody. I was told to consider joint custody.
I am going over the material again, but my damn emotions get in the way of my DBing. I just get irked by her acting like this is no big deal, everyone goes through this, and it's ok. She acts as she doesn't care anymore and doesn't need me. her new thing is "I'm not talking to you, your being abusive, leave me alone. I was told that she may be positioning herself for custody battle.
Please help with the steps I need to do starting again to get this right.
