You really are going through a dark time beckyb, life must be very hard for you right now. There is hope, you have simply got to find your way to it.
Let's suppose you do go ahead and drop DB coaching and push ahead with the D, how is that going to change how you feel? Will you feel worse, better or the same?
You are allowing yourself to feel powerless and you are far from that, you said yourself that maybe you need to take control by slowing things down, why not do that? Who gains from that? You do, so what if it ticks off your H, why do you have to please him, he's doing nothing to please you, so be a bit selfish, he's been doing just that for quite a while now.
As BT13 said give yourself some time to really think and get those thoughts positive before you start making any decisions, any made while you are feeling down will undoubtedly become those you most regret in the future.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
