Update after a long time

[mvgfwd2]

You don't have to file the D just yet to show how serious you are. Just "accidentally" leave the L business cards somewhere. It shows you are taking action independently. And go dim/dark and work on yourself. Put the meeting dates with L's on your calendar. If she asks just say you are figuring out your options.

Ultimatums and talking about what she needs to do are not very strong actions and you did that already. She doesn't believe your serious. Time for actions, not words.