Update after a long time

[Onguard]

My waw was, at one time, head over heels in love with her ap. He broke it off with her but she was pining for him for months afterward. Big time. Finally, MY feelings began to change. MY love for her started to fade. All of a sudden I genuinely did not care what she was doing and simultaneously felt confident that I could be happy without her. I realized that I was her plan B and I refuse to be anyone's plan B.

I never moved out of my home but I did ignore her completely and began to live my life to the fullest without her. I stopped asking for transparency from her. I didn't ask where she was going or where she had been. I didn't contact her unless it had something to do with our kids or business. And then I kept it to a minimum. I ramped up my workouts and poured myself into my business. I took trips to see friends in Arizona and Florida. I updated my wardrobe. I went to the Kentucky Derby with friends. I made plans with my kids. When we were in the home together I ignored her completely. After about 2 weeks she began to show signs of interest. Her calling and texting increased. Her attempts to get my attention at home increased. I did not bend.

Finally she sent me an email of total capitulation. An "I will do anything and everything" email. I told her that we could start to have date nights once a week and see how it goes. And I will tell you that it has been one hell of a roller coaster since. We are piecing but we are far from out of the woods.

Sho, in my case her feelings had not died completely. Once she felt the reality of losing me forever it caused her feelings to return with a vengance. It took time for her feelings for her AP to die as well. I made up my mind that I was going to walk away and never look back unless she did a complete 180. I believe that was the key to getting her to feel in love with me again. She saw me strong, happy, confident and genuinely moving on without her. I was driving the fun bus and she was not on it. All of a sudden the reality of losing me and the great life we had built with our family and friends hit her like a ton of bricks. Again, this is how my situation evolved and yours may or may not unfold the same way.

If I were in your shoes I would definitely take a strong stance. As Starsky pointed out, it is the right thing to do and it is the thing that is most likely to work in getting her to pull her head out of her A$$. You need to walk away and mean it. She has repeatedly crossed the boundaries of your relationship and is still undecided about you and your M. If she contacts you then you can decide if you want to work on the M. But, it has to be her idea to make it work, not yours. You have held it together for long enough. It is time for you to let go of the rope. I would go no contact unless about kids or finances. I would GAL to the highest level possible. Do what you love to do. Become the best possible version of yourself in every way. Have total confidence that you are a good man and an outstanding catch for any woman and that you can and will be happy without your waw.