Update after a long time

[Sotto]

Hi Sho, as always I bow to the wisdom of Starsky and Train. I guess my comment would be - what does 'die on the vine' look like in practice?

Does that mean still being in touch? The odd email? text? meeting up? Would you know about any of this?

For me, the period before BD where H was having an A and I didn't know has shown me one thing. I don't want to live like that. Nope, no, no thank you...not where H is secretly in touch with female friend(s). Never again for me.

So, would whatever 'dying on the vine' means, be ok with you? My other thought would be - if she doesn't want to send a NC letter, how about routing stuff from his number/email to an open account that is fully available for you to see? I'm no vet, but might that be a way through the impasse?

However, it may not be the NC letter itself that is the sticking point here - more your W's unwillingness to do that, and what it says about where she's at.

I agree that the strong and decisive stance was attractive and you should channel your inner John Wayne my friend.

Good luck with whatever you decide....rooting for you xx