Thanks Dawn, Jim and V. Dawn, thanks for the vote of confidence. And Jim, your wise words are always welcome. V - thanks for the hug Yes, the social group is good. But I just had one of those moments of loneliness in a larger group. I'm better with smaller numbers and making closer connections I think.
I've been away last couple of days with work. Things have gone well this week. I had hit a couple of blockages with projects and felt a bit immobilised. I'd been having a bit of negative self-talk about it too. Gremlin on my shoulder. This week I flicked him off and pressed forward with one of the projects, so I'm pleased about that. Tomorrow I'm working from home and I'll press forward with the other too.
Today I'm off and I'm going to potter about, clean and just have a pampering day. I heard from a friend yesterday who wants to go out Sat pm, which is nice. I find the GAL invites tend to roll in now without too much effort on my part. I got an email from the Divorce Recovery Workshop co-ordinator to confirm I'm still on the list for the workshop which starts in early Nov. I'm looking forward to that.
All is quiet on the H and D front. He and I have had no contact for around a month. Him getting draft D papers sent over has helped me really. I used to get more regular 'itches' to contact him, and now that happens less. I'm accepting that D may well happen now, and I've reached a place of some peace with that. Although I'm still DBing and careful about interactions with H, I worry less about the impact on him of what I do, and I do it more for myself. I've pretty much decided that I will buy the lovely flat I'm renting when our finances get resolved, so that's another nice thing to look forward to.
I do still find myself getting caught up in this 'decision which isn't needed' - could we ever reconcile? I find myself worrying about that sometimes. But, I'm getting better at telling myself that isn't even on the table right now. If it ever were on the table, I would deal with that then. I guess the door remains a tiny chink open and my efforts are all on responding to D matters and living my own life. Whether H ever 'wakes up' somewhat and turns back in the direction of our M isn't really my issue to worry about just now.
So, that's where I am and it's not a bad place to be. There are many things I am grateful for. I had a chat with a lady the other day, who told me she had a lung removed during cancer treatment. Her energy and mobility is limited now. Since then, I've felt so grateful for having two healthy lungs that work, and being able to break into a run if I want to...
Have a great Wednesday my friends xx
Last edited by Sotto; 09/09/1507:23 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Yes, the social group is good. But I just had one of those moments of loneliness in a larger group. I'm better with smaller numbers and making closer connections I think.
