EM, you are on the path. It takes time, it's that simple. Each day try to do your best for yourself and your kids. Your wife will see your kindness and compassion and time will reveal your future.
I know that it is easier said then done. I know that there are no simple answers to complex questions. I know things of value are not achieved without hard work and perseverance. I also know that you will be a new man, a better man if you do the work. Invest in yourself, you can't go wrong.
