Tense weekend...not sure why, but H was tense, so I was too. I need to figure out how to disconnect that. Also went out with friends on Friday night, but one of my friends wouldn't stop telling me what I "had" to do, instead of letting me enjoy the night. Best part of the weekend was my S. Love that kid.
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
I am so very glad you got out this weekend, really that made me smile when I read it. I would love to hear more stories about you getting out and having a nice time, even with friends who want to give you advice.
I wanted to way thank you again for checking in with me. I appreciate the time you've spend reading my crazy.
I just know I could not have gotten on this far without all of the support, kindness and guidance from you and the rest of you folks.
Hi Zephyr! I think the support is mutual. There have been definite days when I don't think I would have kept my sanity if not for you and many others on here.
I will try to get out more for fun things. Seems like most of the time it's for work or meetings.
E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Sorry you had a tense weekend. Was it just because your H was tense or did something more specific happen? Also, you recently said he wanted to proceed with D. Has he filed or still just talk?
I can relate to your friends. I am sure it is so hard for them to see you hurting and they onl want the best for you. Unfortunately, divorce seems to be the answer everyone has. I experienced this as soon as I filed. All of my friends, mom, and IC felt it was necessary.
So wish we could meet up in person for HH!!
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
Loved your line about S4 a few posts back. Sorry to hear you had a night with a know it all. People are very open with sharing exactly what you should do huh? A WEEK after my W left I had a friend tell me to find an older divorcee and retire. He was serious and laid out all the reasons I was a fool for not pursuing it seriously. May I say again - this was 7 days after she left.
Here 9 months later it still sounds like an awful idea. Love is lost on some folks I guess.
I truly hope your GAL'ing starts to include some fun for you E. Meetings and work will always be there, and yea, the eat up time, but the goal isn't just to get time to pass. It's to fill yourself back up. To be around people that don't know you, your sitch, or your history. People that get to experience you for the first time. There's certainly something refreshing about that.
Keep your chin up E, I know you're in a chitty spot. Keep doing your best for S4, but also for E.
Big hug,
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Hi Elly, sorry it was a tense weekend. Yes, as you say, if you can disconnect from this and have a nice weekend regardless, you're really getting there. But, it's not easy and we are all 'works in progress.'
I hear you about the friend 'pep-talk.' Friends love to do this. A friend asked me how things were going this week. I told her H is filing for D. She said it's good this is happening as now I 'know who he really is.' And we could never reconcile because 'he would do this again.' Such certainty. I don't defend this anymore or say I hope to save the M. I just validate really...and don't set too much store by it. It's a good thing that I see it for what it is and it doesn't unsettle me as much as it once did....forward progress.....
Hope your week is going well my friend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi BT, I'm not sure why he's withdrawn right now. He's been that way since Friday. Just lays on the couch looking out the window. Not really interacting with S either. I asked him if he wanted to talk, he said no. I left it at that. I'm done trying to draw out his thoughts and feelings. I feel like I need to walk away from that aspect to help myself. But then I waffle back and forth. And no he has not done anything except to tell me he doesn't want to draw this out. :p
Friends are great, but only if they take the hint or outright saying that I'd like to move on to a different topic. I know they mean well, but I want to get out and forget about my sitch for a bit.
Holding my toasting cup up to you! E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Hi PP! It does seem like sometimes I would love to meet new people to socialize with. Around here it's a bit hard to do, but my new coworkers are nice and I enjoy talking to them. I wish there were meet ups around here.
Going to a competition this weekend though. That's all for fun. And tonight I went out for dog food, met a friend and talked to her for awhile. At one point I thought I should get home, and then realized I didn't need to. A small but good step I think.
*Hugs* E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Sotto, thank you so much for dropping by! Isn't it amazing how many people have the right answer for us? They're well meaning but still! I really like your idea of validating my over eager friends. Maybe that would help them to hear that I'm understanding what their point is and I appreciate their advice. They don't understand the DB process and I shouldn't keep trying to explain. Validation will probably work much better.
Hope your week is going well too!
E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Hey elly, just hoping that you are taking some time for yourself.
I have been so wound up I haven't been doing that Much posting either. It does help to get your thoughts out there, even if noone else reads my stuff...still feel better getting it out.
