Man, I feel your pain and will pray the right thing is done. I had an incident yesterday where the Police were called by my MIL where my wife and kids are staying. I didn't do anything wrong and the Police said so, but my MIL is just really out to get me and I'm sure she has her agenda to boot my out of Daughters and my kids life. The police said to just leave, which I did after we spoke for about 15 minutes on what I can do to ensure I get proper custody or visitation. My lawyer is working on this. My wife text me an apology saying sorry it got out of hand, but that doesn't matter to me anymore. And the Police said it sad when a third party get involved like this but it was MIL house and she is a butt-in-ski and likes to interfere!
I am disgusted and blown away this happened, but MIL is just whack like that.
God, I just got to do what everyone has been saying and just talk about kids and GAL for my kids and myself. Whatever happens with wife happens with wife.
I am pulling for you Mattdad and all the is best for your Son and you. I extend my Peace in this troubling time. Reach out to me anytime.
Let her actions tell you where she really is. If she follows through, then you work from there.
In the meantime, your no response seems both prudent & appropriate. Again, all meetings between you should take place in public. So that it's not he said - she said. It may shock her that you are wary of her, but it was her bad choice, and you are smart to be wary.
Reach out to any friends or family who can be supportive during this really difficult turn of events.
Good luck.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
She keeps sending me pics of the kids, and saying she don't want to keep them from me. I haven't held my babies in over 5 weeks. I WANT so badly to believe her, but dang its hard to now. Ive prayed so hard to Jesus that she will come out of this evil. How can I still love a woman that has put me through all this? I cant even go home. I cant even contact them. I didn't even do nothing except catch her lies. Im not really sure what to do. I been living with my sister bless her kind soul. She got me a damn good lawyer too so I wont get railroaded. THank you all for yalls responses.
Matt, I am sending you good will. Truly this is about as low as things can get.
If you've read my thread you'll know it's been on my mind today: God's will, not ours, be done. Have faith. It is YOUR will that your W changes her heart and reaches back out to you. It may be God's as well, but we don't know, because we don't have HIS perspective. Have faith, and clear your mind of your desires, fears, and needs. Trust that if you follow in the plan he has for you it will all work out.
Jesus was surrounded by wicked people. Although he prayed for them he wasn't able to call on God to change their ways. But he did call on God for the strength to do what God needed him to do in the face of that evil, and was blessed with the strength to face suffering beyond anything you and I will endure. Be strong and let him shine through you in all you do.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Your W has gone full psycho. Same as mine. You have a good lawyer that is a top priority here. Make sure you keep every email and text. Make a journal and take notes of everything. Short, concise, factual notes. It sounds to me like W may be luring you into an even worse situation here. Be careful. With a good lawyer, this will pass and you will get to see your babies as you are entitled to by law.
Take care and hang in there.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
Ok so last night at about 9 I get a call from an "unknown" number. It was her. She was balling, and squalling her eyes out saying how sorry she is. Saying she don't want this restraining order on me. Saying that her dad is "making" her do all this. That he paid the lawyer, and will disown her if she don't go through with it.
She put my babies on the phone, and they cried, and asked where I been, and why aint I coming home. That was torture. W started begging me for forgiveness, and saying she realizes how much she wants me. Telling me that she cried every night at bedtime. Really saying all the right things for about an hour and a half. I just listened, and said VERY little. She was really pouring honey in my ear though.
She says OM has become pathetic in her eyes, because he sends flowers to her work, and stalks her online, and is "extremely needy, and insecure". Furthermore, she says she hasn't contacted him in over 3 weeks, but he drives by her work, and she claims shes afraid of him. She acts like she wants me to protect her, even though she don't just come out, and say it.
She says she wants to just "go back to our life before she hurt me". That "she needs me to f#*k her". That she "lusts for me every second Ive been away". All this stuff is stuff Id LIKE to believe, and I do believe most of it, BUT I cant be sure.
She told me she loved me about 1000 times. I never told her back though I wanted to. I stayed hard, and even told her Im happier without her. That being in jail brought me closer to my God, and since Ive been out women are approaching me everytime I go anywhere. Which is true. I must have a glow on me or something.
I don't know how to even feel about this nonsense. I mean I love W, but the trust is destroyed. I hate to think shes trying to set me up. I want to believe, but Im staying logical for now. My lawyer says that since she wrote me letters in jail, and called me last night that the restraining order is now null, and void.
Sorry yall for long post. Got nobody else to chat with. God bless the DB community, and MWD.
Sounds like she has completely lost it. She probably had a crazy fantasy about this other man would give her a better life than with you. She quickly realized that this was a fantasy and that she was losing you then she panicked. I would insist she sees counselling at the very least if not a psychological evaluation before you even talk to her about getting back together, if that is even what you want. I would also insist in seeing your kids before you talk with her about getting back together as well. Sounds like you have some control back here but don't abuse it. Be fair and respectful and strong. Good luck brother.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
Sounds like she has completely lost it. She probably had a crazy fantasy about this other man would give her a better life than with you. She quickly realized that this was a fantasy and that she was losing you then she panicked. I would insist she sees counselling at the very least if not a psychological evaluation before you even talk to her about getting back together, if that is even what you want. I would also insist in seeing your kids before you talk with her about getting back together as well. Sounds like you have some control back here but don't abuse it. Be fair and respectful and strong. Good luck brother.
matt/duke - I would be careful doing any of the stuff I highlighted in blue. That all sounds very controlling to me.
In my opinion, it is easy to say all of the things she said. I would wait for her to take action to suggest that she is serious about reconciling.
Matt, I know you want to believe all those emotional things she's saying about wanting you back. However, this one thing, IMO, cancels the other things she's saying:
Quote:
Saying she don't want this restraining order on me. Saying that her dad is "making" her do all this. That he paid the lawyer, and will disown her if she don't go through with it.
Stay strong!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
"I know you prob don't want to speak to me, but D3 says goodnight. I hope you have a wonderful night."
I don't get why she sent it in an email rather than a text like always. Im paranoid. I think shes committing the crime of entrapment by contacting me so much.
