Have i been making mistakes too long part 5

[sandi2]

And I know my WW has noticed because she has commented several times. But it's never enough. She's convinced she cannot be happy with me. The current OM is the answer. Forget the previous OM that all fizzled within 2 years. This guy is different, he's the one. There's nothing we can do about it, until our wives wake up to reality.

Very true! That is just one reason why the H needs to do it for himself, and not to just win her back. However, let's be honest. No matter what a newcomer says about how he's not doing it for her.....we know it is only human nature to want it to have positive affect. In the beginning, I think it is the motivation behind getting him to make those changes.

Back to the quote above, I hope the LBH who has a WW will understand that at this point her thought process is too crazy. It is much easier for her to continue blaming him and using those old excuses for her unhappiness, rather than to stop her addictive A and wayward behavior in order to work hard & long with her H to restore their M.

Their time frames are out of sync. When she is finally "done", then he wakes up and is ready to do anything to keep her. He can't understand why she won't give him a chance to prove how different things could be again. In her mind, she gave him thousands upon thousands of chances and now she doesn't feel anything for the M.

Very sad that we human beings are that way. FWIW, when she agrees to end the A and stay in the M.......the hard stuff has just begun. You think this is hard? Just wait till you are piecing it back together again. You still have two individuals who think and feel differently from one another. Both of them will still have hurt and unresolved issues to iron out (plus learning how to "piece"). They both are fragile, in their own way. And honestly, they may continue to feel as though they are in separate time zones (or planets) for a while. That's why we continue to stress that it takes a long time, and great patient.

(hugs)