That is what im trying to get through my thick skull. I have changed and bettered myself in all the areas she always complained about. In my mind if this was all my fault and on me 100%, then she would come back when I changed for the better. I have changed but it doesn't effect the way she feels. She still thinks that I am the reason for her unhappiness. I haven't bothered her in the least in over a month now and she still feels the same way.
Im getting myself back on track. I have doing well with all of this. Yesterday just brought me down.
Ive posted this a couple of times, but this visual has really helped me to understand the situation tkd. Imagine a lake freezing upwards. You dont see any evidence of the freeze until that top layer freezes. But at that point, its not just a thin layer of slush on that top like you might imagine, the entire LAKE is frozen SOLID. So your changes so far have maybe melted the top little bit, but it will take a long time of consistent change to really have an possible impact. And theres some chance that you cant ever melt it.
And thats why its important to keep working on yourself. PMA, GAL, detach, 180s, etc. Keep DOING.
