So Saturday night dinner was fun. I had a great time and actually really laughed. My friend was happy that I came out because I always tend to hold back, putting H and kids' schedule first. I'm glad I did too.
Yesterday myself and H were both off. We took the kids to their class together but no conv. between us. After that, H stayed home all day, but mostly sleeping in another room and no meals together or no interactions, not really even with kids. I didn't know why he bothered to be there then.
This morning H was late again to come home for me to go to work. I talked to him about this a few times before and he insisted he wouldn't be late again, but of course this is one of his empty promises. I think his issues with alcohol & Depression are getting worse (thus he can't wake up on time)
The problem is that I can't afford to hire a all day sitter/daycare for two right now. I don't have my family here whom I can ask to watch the kids. My in-laws don't know anything about what's going on... I'm getting worried about finances, but if I separate finances I can't afford to pay mortgage by myself. H's work seems slower too and he can't afford two separate living expenses either. I feel very stuck...
