running around like a chicken without a head

[overcom]

The one thing I am completely regretting right now is falling off the wagon and not able to get back on. What I mean is in February/March I started bding. It took a while but finally was doing it. I went dark, no contact other then regarding the kids or money. I did that for 3 months and he came back. I should have totally continued it, instead I fell back to my old ways that drove him right out the door. I am slowly reaching the wagon but when I read articles like I did yesterday it makes me panic... he was at home all day working on the truck. So it was hard to not be in contact with him even tho I would do my own thing. Then of course the ow wouldn't stop texting or calling and then he disappeared for 3 hrs in the middle of the night. Anyway a while I just went to sleep... while I was standing next to him I saw her long nappy hair tangled around his phone so I pulled it and he started laughing and said what a evidence. He's like it's so sad. Then shook his head and I just walked away... he knows what he's doing is completely wrong but he's still going with it. Which makes me want to do this more then ever. But I'm so weak for him. Anyway I have made some goals and some things I want to fix.. I'll post later. Pray for me guys... pray that I can do this