For now though I am closer to just being than I ever have been.
Zues, this is one of the most life changing revelations I had on this journey. In the weeks after BD, when is was a challenge to breathe daily, I started meditating using the Calm app. Sometimes I'd sit in my car and do a two minute guided meditation just to be able to get out of the car and carry on with my day. One of the phrases in the meditations is that "there's nothing to do, this is your time". It was an incredible revelation to me that such a thing was possible.
Originally Posted By: Zues126
If I date, do I involve myself with a number of women, or do I do what I've done before? Do I set enhanced boundaries, and use this next relationship as a chance to 'hold out for what I want', or do I just go with the flow and take what comes my way and be appreciative.
What I'd like to see for you, Zues, is that you date a woman who turns out not to be right for you. Not that you friviously let her go just for the sake of serial dating, not that you settle for someone who has some good qualities but isn't right for you, but that you genuinely come to the conclusion on your own that although this woman is a fine human being and you have enjoyed some good times with her, you and she are not the match you want. And then you respectfully end it, and are able with a clear mind to open yourself up to the next relationship, which may or may not be right for you either. This is what I was trying to explain before that I never got quite right. I wouldn't want you to miss the right woman just because you thought you were supposed to be dating a lot of women any more than I'd want you to commit to the first woman you meet because she seems good enough. There's someone out there for you, and I hope you don't find her right away.
Originally Posted By: Zues126
It's so strange. It's like I'm being told "what's wrong with you, don't you know there's nothing wrong with you, you don't need to make changes to be ok with yourself, so pull it together and change your attitude!"
This has me smiling, because it's so consistent with who I have come to understand you are.
I updated my weekend on my own thread, but here's a spoiler: no alligators.
