Have i been making mistakes too long part 5

[tkdmme]

I really need some encouragement right now. im in a slump again today. I guess its because of the argument yesterday. Every time I hear that she still wants D it feels like the day of the original BD. I have made some progress through this but still have days where im sad and cant shake it. It never leaves my mind for a second. I want to cry but I have promised myself I wouldn't.

I have to play piano tonight at the tavern down the street. It is really hard to entertain people when your heart is aching. Especially when I see couples there and happy together. I get request for love songs all night and it is all I can do to make it through without breaking down.

She said last night that she didn't want to prolong this but she is not making any moves to move out. I think she is waiting for me to do it. I WILL NOT MOVE OUT. I have told her this over and over. I just cant believe all that has happened.

I am not giving up hope. I want to but I cant seem to let go completely. I have been doing a lot of GAL but she is always in the back of my mind. I have been having horrible dreams. They are always the same. Her either cheating on me or her telling me she wants to work it out. I need some help today.