My lizard and her tunnel ...

[late30s]

Update:

W was with me all weekend. Went fairly well, I brought up R stuff a few times. I am so frustrated with myself for it. Why is it I can do almost everything else, but have such a hard time not talking about our R?! I brought this up to me therapist and he suggested it was because my needs aren't being met in the slightest and so when I suppress them, they eventually force their way out.

We talked about our past quite a bit this weekend. By and large I kept quiet about it, listened to what she had to say. Found a few pearls to stash away and I had a chance to make some progress on her issues with my A some 13 years ago. This has been an ongoing thing for her. I honestly believe that it was the biggest mistake I ever made. It caused nothing but pain for every person even remotely close to it. I want to move forward though, and I can certainly accept that we need to move beyond this at her pace, it just seems like over a decade is a bit long. For a long time I felt like we had moved forward but part of me feels like all the animosity has resurfaced in an attempt to justify her current A.

In speaking about my A, I told that I had in fact affaired down. That with the exception of a few months of intense fog on my part, she has always been my first choice for a life partner. This was the first time I felt like she had heard me when it came to that I hope that it sticks. She also told me that she affaired down. Which was surprising to me, anytime she mentions OM it is to try to tell me how great he is. I have done my best to nip the comparisons in the bud, but it was nice to hear.

Her puppy is staying with me for a little while. I believe this is in preparation of the coming eviction she is facing. She wants puppy to be acclimated to the other animals here so I can take him while she continues her journey.

The eviction will be served on Thursday. That will give it another thirty days or so till she is homeless. Currently they are both unemployed and I don't think they have any real job prospects. As the eviction looms closer, she seems to be pulling deeper into fantasy land. I was hoping some of you wonderful folks would be able to offer some advice as to how I proceed? How I interact with her?

My current game plan is to continue along my path, help puppy if he needs a place to go and to refuse her a place to stay until she can show me some proof that OM will not be an issue and that she is willing to entertain the idea of rebuilding our M. I find myself somewhat conflicted here though, I don't want to see her on the streets, but she may very well end up there. She has a brother and a sister in town. Brother is FURIOUS with her over what she has done. If he were to take her in, OM would not be welcome at all at his house. Sister isn't as furious but seems to share the same sentiments towards OM. I don't think her sister will have room regardless. All of her friends have turned their backs on her, I don't think she will get much help from them.

Any and all input is appreciated at this point.