Alligator Love

[Zues126]

I appreciate your reading and posting. Here's what I see when I read those posts:

You really should just accept yourself as you are and really work on...

You know it's ok to just be?

It's so strange. It's like I'm being told "what's wrong with you, don't you know there's nothing wrong with you, you don't need to make changes to be ok with yourself, so pull it together and change your attitude!"

I'm not dismissing or arguing. Just explaining why this is confusing to me.

I feel like I am pretty ok with who I am but that it's others that have a problem with me, so I have been disappointed with myself because I can't win. Whether that means watching both of my partners citing my faults and walking out on me, or just never finding the right words to have everyone on the forums say 'hey Z, glad you're having fun on the road' (which I understand because this forum is devoted to growth and positive life changers).

So to me it is more about lowering my expectations from being able to meet everyone's standards, to knowing who I am and being ok with it even if those around me throw stones.

Interesting to mull over.

For now though I am closer to just being than I ever have been. It's alright.