Need advice for a WW who left Part 3

[Zues126]

I put what I thought was a setback in red, blue was just unnecessary. Recap below.

WW: S18 never told me when u got home.

Me: We made it back fine. U can always text me if u wanna know. U don't have to go through S18.

WW: When u get home

Me: ??

WW: Yesterday. When did u guys get back.

Me: Don't remember exactly. Wasn't too late. Why do you wanna know?

WW: For S16

Me: I called and checked on him a few times. He was fine.

WW: when you go outta town, it should be u telling me. Not S18. Hope you told my sister Hi for me.

Me: S18 told me he had talked to you about it. And u r always welcome to ask me about kids if you have questions. Your sister hopes you doing well. She misses you.

WW: Yeah, well you never planned to tell me anyways. U can have the rest of my family for Christmas too. Enjoy.

Me: I wasn't deliberately keeping anything. S18 said he mentioned it on Friday. And I don't know why u think it has to be either me or you with your family. Why do they have to pick a side? We can all get along just fine if you want.

WW: The only reason S18 told me was cause I specifically mentioned my sister. U didn't plan on telling me and it's BS.

Me: I had no problem telling you. I didn't think u cared. You go days at a time and don't tell me anything but get mad when I do the same.

WW: They don't have to pick sides but I'm sure you're buzzing in their ears. I don't feel like I have anyone now. Thanks

Me: I'm not buzzing anyone. I don't trash talk about you, in spite of what you think. And btw, ur sister was already going to the beach and told me she had invited you b4 she even spoke to me. Said she never got a reply. I mentioned I was taking the kids and we decided to meet up. There was nothing sneaky about it. I would have been happy if you could have made it.

My suggestion is that you quit trying to debate, explain, defend, attack, or anything along those lines. Let it go.

Instead, just validate.

"OK, W, I hear you'd like to be kept more in the loop." "I can see why you'd be upset with the idea of getting the kids in the middle of this. I appreciate you sharing that, and I agree it's a priority to keep whatever issues we have from impacting them".

Anything beyond that is useless. She's never going to agree with you. Anything you say will be twisted and used against you. Trying to point that out will only infuriate her further and escalate things.

Yup. Definitely time to cut her loose and say the minimum.