Good stuff. How are you going to figure out how to detach while still making her aware that you are there for her emotionally? I have an idea, but I want to be sure I am not seen as cold by H.
What was W's reaction to you not being all over her? Did she notice? Look concerned? Look upset, confused? Did you even pay enough attention to notice?
Michele says to note S's reaction for several days after you have begun something new to see what the effect is, and then tweak it. It will be tough to do this, as I often go by the first reaction my H has. Good luck, I hope this will work. We shall soon find out.
We shall soon find out. 
