Happy Monday everyone - its my day off, spring is in the air and the sun is shining.

Well, chapter 4 has a twist in the story this week.

So after spending a few days in sad land and feeling very sorry for myself (which got me nowhere), I received a text from h saying hi, how are you doing. The standard opening to most of his latest texts - to be honest I am bored of the same . But wait, there is more:

So long story short, the texts turned by his doing until he said this : (the context is about him moving out and the fact he still is living in the same house as her ...she is more screwy than ever ....and its something he covered with his shrink last week"

h: I do not have any feelings for her. I will be leaving. I will then do whatever I can to have a life with you, if you will have me in yours. I have no expectations regarding you, but thats not the same as not having hope. I find I have to stop making plans for the future so that I dont build my hopes up. All the talk about seeing if we want to work now is for your benefit, I know that I want to be with you, end of story

m: Blimey, now thats a declaration! Is it a real one or another confused statement?

h: its real, not confused

m: I have said that the door is ajar, I can't say I am definately in as I have a lot to let go of as I am sure you will appreciate. Time, actions and you becoming the healthiest you can be will help your cause

h: I am very aware that you have to be ok with what I have done. This will be at your pace, on your terms. If it doesnt feel right then it probably isn't.

At this point texts got a bit flirty and then they finished because he was about to drive.

So um, as you can imagine, life has thrown another curve ball my way. Not sure what I feel about it all, I need to be sensible and keep my head. I know that after the "giddy" has died down the reality will set in and I need to be prepared for the long haul of emotions, feelings and working through all of the damage that was in our m and what he has done/said since he left. Can I and do I want to do this .......