Moving Through it 11

[asitis]

Hang in there. The mixed messages are very confusing. I've learned the hard way to try to not get caught up in figuring it out, and just focus on who I want to be. I want to be a compassionate, caring person who is able to keep the R with the mother of my children healthy while she deals w/ her sh*t and I deal w/ mine.

You want to be included in your kids' lives, so encourage that pursuit a bit with some positive reinforcement. Thanks. Oh, so cute. That kind of thing. Consider doing some of the same back. It's your tie. Something you have that is always going to tie you together, and you want that part to work.

On the other legal, listen, validate, shrug, move on.

Easier said than done - I know that all too well. Still, focus on who you want to be rather than what your W is doing. Confident, caring, flexible but with boundaries, focused on the good of the kids, able to let go of grudges. Whatever combination of values you hold dear. Focus on being that, and respond accordingly - or not.

Now. Let's get back to what you're doing for you in the near future. Not with the kids. Just for you. The fun stuff, growth stuff, become more interesting because you are doing interesting things stuff. Yes, I'm redirecting your focus. I'm devious and subtle about it too.