WELL! This is a lot to take in. Sorry for the long post. No, wait, no I'm not.
Quote:
...she's not ready to have a relationship with me, because she's still somehow in protection mode with me and it makes her uncomfortable...
Is this what she said? She's not "READY?" Because "ready" implies that it is coming but isn't here yet. Ready to me means, "I need more time."
Quote: because she's honest with OM about what she and I do...
IS SHE? I thought she was lying to him on her cell phone with you being right there staying quiet. Maybe that's another Renew I know. Sorry. Seriously, maybe she just did it once, didn't think of it, or didn't feel like she actually lied. But I feel differently on this one. She can't feel that comfortable with him if she is not opening herself to him about everything regarding you. And if she is not opening in regards to you, she must FEEL like there is something to hide.
Quote: ...she feels my behavior has made her much more comfortable around me
What else to say but GOOD!
Quote: she acknowledges that she finds me very physically attractive...
Ummmm GOOD! he he he...
Quote: but is not yet attracted to be intimate with me
Hmmm... yet... (tapping my forehead to think)... yet, I THINK I remember the definition of that word... Isn't it something like 'at a future time, EVENTUALLY'
Quote: , she said when she feels something more for me we won't need a sign--she'll know and she'll say,...
WHEN!!! HELLO!?! Are these really her words? A bit of Freudian psychology going on here?
Quote: She feels that we do have a connection (communication/emotional) again but feels like part of her is retracted in a shell because of everything that happened with us--a protective shell that keeps her from getting closer to me
This is fine, IMHO. Nothing that can't change, if she lets it... I hope you found a way to sneak in mention of how the changes in you are for real and forever because you are so happy lately with yourself and never want to go back to being the old you.
Again, it sounds like OM is fulfilling a need to be needed with her. Not saying there aren't genuine emotions there, but what is the real basis for their R?
OK, the path is clear. Care to RENEW your vows to DB along with me? I'm doing it daily now. It helps.
The path laid before you is obvious. (to me anyway, anyone else who cares to differ, please do...) I believe you have to make her see that the changes in you are real and forever and you care about yourself as much as or more than her. This will allow her to relax her "outer shell" and come (draw) closer to you. More reliance on you to bear her emotional burdens, more "need" but not "neediness" of her on your part, and lots of validation, both for her and yourself.
