Wow, mind is blown 7

[asitis]

I'm glad your S4 was OK. You should answer your phone in situations like that, just make clear that calls are for emergencies. Texts for non-emergencies.

She not only let you know, but turned to you for help, and you were there. Not that you want to have to go through this often, but that was a very positive thing for your R. Now, praise her for how she handled it, and thank her for being such a responsible and dependable mom to your S. Expose your own vulnerability even if it risks a hurt by expressing how scared all that makes you even though you know it is going to be handled, & maybe add how powerless you felt, but that it was better because you knew he was in good hands with her.

Let her talk about anything she wants, and by all means don't tell her what she could have done better. She turned to you because she relies on you to help at times. She likely would have made a good decision on her own, but her instinct was that you are better as a team. So, keep that winning team spirit up with that nurturing respect for how she took care of things.