Update after a long time

[shodan]

This morning, I may have backtracked a bit. I woke up to find a text from the OM (I had checked her phone). I deleted the text but then told her about it since she told me that he was blocked. Clearly he was not. She told me she had to reboot her phone, so perhaps doing that undid the blocking.

I then asked when she was going to send the NC email. She said that she wants to do things her way and would rather let it "die on the vine". She said that I am pressuring her and pushing her away. I told her that I am not going to share her with anyone, so if she will not send the NC email, then I will move out and we can start the divorce process.

Of course, I would like to trust her and how she wants to proceed but how can I trust someone who cheated and lied. .I don't want to pressure her but then again, if she cannot send the NC email, (1) how can I trust her and (2) what does this mean about her feelings for the OM? To address #2, I know she fell in love with him and probably does not want to hurt him, but I have no sympathy for that. If she is serious about us, she should want to do this.

Ultimately, on one hand I know that I need to separate and move out. On the other hand, I want to be patient and let the repairing process work itself. Repairing a marriage takes a lot of time.