welp... it's been 14 days and I have not contacted my wife in any way. Nor have I even had the urge. After reading the posts the last few days I guess I consider myself somewhat lucky. Having been through this with her before (not married then of course) makes things easier. I have learned a lot of the lessons described on this board in the past. I understand completely what everyone is going through.

I end up getting a little angry at how I am being treated like an ex-boyfriend rather than a husband. That is what bothers me. I desperately want this to work out, but even if she came back, I am not sure I can go through this again. There is only so many times someone can tell you 'this is how I feel'. I actually started researching divorce proceedings last night. She has not forced the issue as of yet though. The only thing we briefly discussed was not needing lawyers. I will still wait for her to bring it up.

I cannot believe how fast the last 2.5 months have gone by. It is a blur. I am doing good focusing on myself. Setting goals and knocking em down ;-). Have a half marathon next month that I am going smoke, destroying it at the gym and I am going to ace my final two classes. I am working on my social skills at the same time. Making strong eye contact and trying to be a bit more out going without being over the top. My confidence has increased unbelievably during all of this. I do need to hang out with my friends more though.... nights are tough sometimes and I end up going to bed early. The good news is that I have not had to watch reality TV in a long time and I can buy ice cream with chunky stuff in it!

I want her to call, text or email me... not so we can talk... but so I can ignore it. How messed up is that? Her birthday is coming up quick... and I just have to ignore it. It is like she is two different people... the person she is when she is with me and the person she is when she is not. I have met both several times in the past 16 years and I do not like the latter. I know that my wife is not present right now so I do not miss her. Any attempts at communication are pointless and will certainly make me feel worse. I miss her family though especially my nieces.

Full LRT in effect for the foreseeable future. I'll get there and I am going to better because of all this.