OK, W has a cold. No big deal, but it reminded me of one of the scenarios I've puzzled about wo/ resolution. What to do when W gets sick enough to not be able to watch kids on her days? So, I decided to work through it some more here.
We have no family in the area to fall back on. Sure, there are babysitters. But we don't have someone on retainer. During the week, there is school & day care, but that only covers part of the day.
I'm busy. She is busy. She has been there for me when I went through months of cancer treatment that left me debilitated. Despite everything, I'm still pretty sure she would be there to help if I were really sick or injured, and I know I would be there for her in the same situation. It is who I am, and it is one of those things I'm not going to change.
Anyway, I'm pondering over my instinct to try to help, and my "this is the way she wanted it" reaction. I know that at some level she must not want or expect to rely on me as an H when convenient while not wanting me as an H. I also know that she would likely try to help some if the tables were turned, at least now.
Yet, now my schedule is busier than hers, and much less flexible. I really can't get behind, and I can't miss classes.
I also know that after the likely D, and if she is in a new R, that reciprocation will not be as available or available at all. So, do I do the nice thing, or is it time for tough love. This is what it is likely going to be like. If it isn't too much of an inconvenience, I might help you at such times, but I'm not going to drop things on your day because you aren't capable of handling it.
Thoughts? What have others done, particularly those who have the instinct to help & may have struggled w/ this conundrum?
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
