Thanks Pinn, Pighead. I just misplaced my lady balls for a time.
Not being love drunk - achieved by significant no contact - has been the biggest help in re-centering on my experience. Rather than worrying what he could mean, what he wants, what he is thinking...who cares. The only thing he was ever right about was that he "married up." And my number one goal is to get back to the me (slightly older and wiser) that I was before I let his mind-effery take hold.
A long time ago Cadet told me to take my love, box it up and put it on the shelf. That's where it stays. To open it?
XH would have to grow up, replace abuse tactics with direct and assertive communication. He'd have to find something to replace the emptiness inside of him. A single personality to settle on. Understand why he makes sympathy grabs to other women all the time. Do something to show me this, regain trust.
Life is too short. I plan on being wildly successful and madly in love again before he even gets through step one.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
