running around like a chicken without a head

[overcom]

So today I sent him some text messages and apparently he was with the ow who knew nothing about my abortion or us being together. So now he's pissed and hes stabbing me with such harsh words. I can't believe what I'm hearing. He wished he never married me, I fed up his life. He said other stuff as well. I'm not sure whether to believe him or not and how I should take his words but they did hurt. I have been keeping my distance and not calling getting a life which works for a while then he comes back and tries to make everything ok between us and then bam again when he's angry he uses me as a punching bag.
Once the papers are signed and filed I think detachment and going black will be a lot easier since he'll be moved out. I ask for your prayers and continued support.

[PigPen]

Sending you strength overcom.

You're not alone in your pain tonight, we're thinking about you.

Big hug,

PP

[overcom]

Hi hun. Thanks for reaching out.

[Sotto]

Hi Overcom

When you look at your recent posts, you can see where the road to peace lies. It lies in doing things like getting yourself off to the gym and working out. That is - focusing on yourself and your own needs. Good for you.

Now, as for texting or contacting your H. You can see that the response to that wasn't good, and he is replying with typical WAS script - I never loved you, we shouldn't have married, you ruined my life, I was never happy.......etc... Stuff like that is why we have the - believe nothing they say - rule. If you 'believe' that, you'll feel pretty hopeless about things for sure.

As for the D, if he wnts to serve papers, I don't think there is anything you can do to stall that. The standard recommended response to this is along the lines of - D isn't what I want, but if this is your choice I respect that and won't stand in your way. Then, you can instruct your L to go as slow as possible, without appearing obstrutive. But from your own perspective, I then think you need to work on acceptance of the fact that he wants a D. I think we all need to get to a point where we can accept and live happily with the outcome of being D. So, what work do you need to do on yourself to get to that point?

I know it may sound hard to hear this but - if you can truly get to that point, it's best for you. But also - it may just attract your H again.....but you can't be looking over your shoulder at him. Ask yourself, which is more attractive here?

a) Fearful, desperate not to D, trying to hold on and stall, sending needy texts etc..
b) Confident overcom. She's working out and feeling in better shape. She's going out with friends, taking a class. She knows new people. Some days she doesn't think about H much. She's enjoying finding herself again....

You can't lose if you work towards B, IMHO - whatever your H may do.

Take care xx

[overcom]

Hi sotto. Your right about it all. I'm just having such a hard time accepting it amd its not letting me move on. I'm trying so hard but I can't do it. My mom keeps telling me the same thing. Don't call text nothing stay normal. If he comes around don't mention the d or the situation. I have been gal. Taking the kids to aquarium of the Pacific today but I'm really not in the mood. But I already promised them.
I need to try harder... no excuses...

[gonegrl]

Overcome, when you are tempted to text him, post your text here and I (or someone) will give you a likely reply back that will make you glad you didn't do it.

I hope you had a great time at the aquarium.

I wish I had something better to tell you, but you are not alone in this, we are all here suffering the same thoughts and urges as you are. You can do this.

[overcom]

Hahhaa ok I will. I'll sound pathetic but ok...
We didn't go, we ended up going to a in door play ground and having lunch.

I do have a question. When he's here working on the truck which will be a few times a night but I'm sure he'll leave to be with the ow. While he is here how should I act? Do I hang out with him or sit outside like I usually do? Advice would be appreciated. ..

[overcom]

Today he called around 4 amd was just talking about how he's not happy. He is constantly battling whether she's out some where with the other guy. They broke up 2 weeks ago. He found out she was with her x. She dumped him and got back with her x boyfriend. So now she wants my h back and he ran back to her. So now I really have to get my head together to really show him who is the fool. I need to do this... I can do this...

[overcom]

How can I forget the best part.. he goes on saying that whatever he said about marring me he didn't mean it. He said he still has a lot of love for me and he really doesn't know what he's doing. He said please pray for me to get my together. He's like I'm lost amd can't think straight. He said He hopes to find his way back home. I told him when he's ready to come back she needs to be long gone... I won't put up with that... amd then he just was like I'll never take the kids from you and just know despite what I say that I'll always take care of you and the kids... so I was like thank you. I said just be careful cause she's already admitted to using you before so don't fall for her trap again... and that was it.

[overcom]

He just came looking for me. I'm sitting in the front yard and hes like what are you doing I said watering the grass.