Tough situation Dif. I can see the issues with both side of that. You go dark and it potentially cuts out some good interactions but you keep interacting and it effects your sanity. People talk about going dark on here all the time and I think what most mean is instead pulling back. Going dark is where you basically cut them out of your life for everything other than very important things and this goes on for months and years. In my opinion its only use is really to help the LBS detach and let go and I just don't see it helping the sitch. I can understand how stressful the popping in and out can be but if it were me I would try to pull back some but not cut her out completely.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
