running around like a chicken without a head

[Sotto]

Hi Overcom

When you look at your recent posts, you can see where the road to peace lies. It lies in doing things like getting yourself off to the gym and working out. That is - focusing on yourself and your own needs. Good for you.

Now, as for texting or contacting your H. You can see that the response to that wasn't good, and he is replying with typical WAS script - I never loved you, we shouldn't have married, you ruined my life, I was never happy.......etc... Stuff like that is why we have the - believe nothing they say - rule. If you 'believe' that, you'll feel pretty hopeless about things for sure.

As for the D, if he wnts to serve papers, I don't think there is anything you can do to stall that. The standard recommended response to this is along the lines of - D isn't what I want, but if this is your choice I respect that and won't stand in your way. Then, you can instruct your L to go as slow as possible, without appearing obstrutive. But from your own perspective, I then think you need to work on acceptance of the fact that he wants a D. I think we all need to get to a point where we can accept and live happily with the outcome of being D. So, what work do you need to do on yourself to get to that point?

I know it may sound hard to hear this but - if you can truly get to that point, it's best for you. But also - it may just attract your H again.....but you can't be looking over your shoulder at him. Ask yourself, which is more attractive here?

a) Fearful, desperate not to D, trying to hold on and stall, sending needy texts etc..
b) Confident overcom. She's working out and feeling in better shape. She's going out with friends, taking a class. She knows new people. Some days she doesn't think about H much. She's enjoying finding herself again....

You can't lose if you work towards B, IMHO - whatever your H may do.

Take care xx