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Rouky #2604216 09/04/15 04:13 PM
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Are you ok Shotgun?

Rouky #2604338 09/05/15 01:41 AM
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Working on financial statements. Signed up for parenting class. Hearing next week. Fighting over pickup/drop off.

Still working out at the gym and running and going to yoga class. Lots of cute girls in there but most are married.

Trying to find peace and strength to finish this divorce. Counselor suggested Prozac for me. Said it is a year long commitment as it takes some time to kick in and you have to wean off of it.

Going camping next weekend with S13. Looking forward to it.


M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
shotgun #2604346 09/05/15 02:19 AM
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Sounds like you are hanging in there. Glad you are keeping up with your exercise. And even if they are mostly married, they have friends and relations who aren't.

On the fighting over pick up & dropping off, try to turn it from a power struggle of needs to asking her if you could both step back and look it it differently. Then say you are more worried about the impact on S and making the next decade as easy on all three of you for the good of all of you, but esp. S. Then ask her what she thinks would be best. Given some of the things you've said, she may just throw her wants in, but she also may appreciate that you've de-escalated, and also shown her respect by asking her opinion.

On the Prozac: go to a psychiatrist to get it rather than your regular doctor. Anti-depressants are a bit of an art, as different people respond to different ones (& we don't know why). Still, psychiatrists generally are able to make decent hunches about which one will work based on having worked with so many people. The psychiatrist will want to see you in about 3-4 weeks to assess if the drug is working, and may try something else based on the results. It takes about 3 weeks for most to have an impact, and as psychiatrist will be better and weaning you off when it comes time.

Some need a more sedating anti-D because anxiety is an issue. Paxil is often used. If your D is more the lethargic type, than Prozac or Wellbutrin are often used. But it is the combination of symptoms that gives a psychiatrist the hints of which may be right for you.

Hang in there. You're a very strong person going through all you have and taking life head on.


Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
shotgun #2604417 09/05/15 03:12 PM
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Hi Shotgun,

I just read your thread and I'm so sorry about the pain and suffering you have been through and have to deal with.

You received some great advice from many, so I just want to add one remark about your WAW and her anger when you discuss assets and money. From your description of her, it's because it's her priority in life. It's what means something to her, and it's what she's willing to fight for. It's as simple as that. It has nothing to do with you, so don't take it personally.

People often focus on something in their life, it's what they become successful at. She's got a high paying job, she's looking for rich men, she is aggressive in the settlement of assets. It all adds up to a person who has made money a priority in her life, at the cost of other things. I sincerely hope you will find someone down the road who shares your ideals and priorities in life.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Painter #2604480 09/05/15 08:34 PM
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Thank you Painter. I am so thankful to have my friends here and I don't know where I would be without this place. I see now that there was never a chance of reconciliation with my wife but I do not regret having taken every chance that I could to save my family.

Mostly I am sad to see it end but a little excited to start over. Trying to be patient and follow the advice of my counselor and give it a year before jumping back into dating. We'll see as I have discovered that half of the single people out there are women!


M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
shotgun #2604482 09/05/15 08:39 PM
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Rouky I am doing OK. It took me a couple of days to process but I do thank you for asking. Had a really bad week but thanks to you and everyone else on here I will make it through this. It is so nice to know that you are looking out for me. God bless you!


M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
shotgun #2604484 09/05/15 08:42 PM
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Thinking of you shotgun, your sitch always blows my mind. I can't believe someone has had to go through all that you have, at the same time.

I don't have any advice, just a lot of support and positivity to send your way. I hope you continue to get better day by day.

Big hug to you Shotgun,

PP

Last edited by PigPen; 09/05/15 08:42 PM.

M 39 W 36
T5 M3
BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day
Served 9/15
D finalized 6/17
PigPen #2604556 09/06/15 04:11 AM
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Thank you PigPen. I think I need support as much as anything. My therapist says there is no other answer than to go through this. I just want to be a better person when I get to the other side of it. I do get a tiny bit better every day. I tell people that it is as if you were reading the dictionary and you turned one page every day. Again I am thankful for the friends that I have here. Rouky, PigPen, asitis, HurtJeff I love you all!


M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
shotgun #2604799 09/07/15 10:59 AM
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It seems as if mornings have become much more difficult of late. I am finding it hard to get up and eat breakfast. It's a big deal as my weight has fallen to 152 lbs. Everyone is telling me that I am divorce thin. Going to see the Encologist tomorrow and will ask for some advice about gaining weight. Pray for a good report on my blood test!


M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
shotgun #2604801 09/07/15 11:12 AM
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Pasta and ice cream... works for me. wink Maybe not for breakfast, that's a difficult meal for me, too.

Yeah, I lost 12 pounds before I even knew what was going on...

Best wishes for good test results!


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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