I'm having trouble seeing how this journal is anything but hurtful to you both. I have no idea what you're writing, but in my mind it's all just words. Words typed into a screen are EASY but they are IMPACTFUL. It's easy for her to say "I miss you" but what she may be thinking and how you read it can be so different. All it does is give you another avenue to get hurt.
I think you've really got to drop contact and let her live her life so you can live yours. You can love her from afar, but until she's ready to ACT, all the interactions are going to do is cause you unneeded pain.
Agree with Az. It's impossible to interpret true meaning through text. Just way too many ways to read into what was really meant. Plus, as he said, it keeps you attached. It probably feels nice at times, but it's gonna keep opening wounds.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
