I'm thinking of reaching out to H tomorrow to talk about what happened on Wednesday. He is already at work for the night so I know he wouldn't 'hear' me if I tried to talk to him tonight. I definitely want to talk to him before I leave Monday on my girls trip. Have a great weekend everyone and I will fill you in after the talk.
EP
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
For the first time since H moved out in May S4 is crying "I want my daddy. I miss my daddy". I don't know what to do. I have told him that I miss him too and that I love him. It breaks my heart. I have no idea if he cries for me when he is with H. A part of me wants to each out and TM him but then I think if I feel I should do it then don't do it. I hate what this does to our children. Ugh.
Vacation away from this sh$t can't come soon enough. Atleast there is wifi and I can FaceTime S every day but that is going to be the worst part about the trip.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Just hold your S and give him all of the love you can. Stay strong for him. Tell him you love him and his daddy loves him. And that he will see his daddy soon. Say you can do something special together tomorrow.
I hate it so much too. But be the rock your family needs, ep.
Uugh. That just bites. I don't know if TM him will help at all. IFK. You have to do what you can. This is not going away. I would bet you s behaves same at is father's house.
Thanks guys. I will keep it to myself. I gave him extra hugs and kisses and let him know we will play trains in the morning. (His favorite thing to do). Then I get "I don't love you. I love Daddy" gut punch. I said " well I love Daddy too and he loves you". Walked to my room and cried. We are talking about the sweetest, most lovable affectionate child ever saying this.
Ugh I am not sure he's only 4 and not 14
Last edited by ep0215; 09/05/1501:07 AM.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Just remember that he IS 4. He doesn't really understand love (oh, he'll. do any of us?)
My kids will say that one minute and then be the sweetest most loving things 15 minutes later.
He loves you, ep. He's just confused about what's going on, and took it out on you. Get on the floor and play ALL OF THE TRAINS tomorrow with him.
By the way, you may not want to be saying "I love daddy too" to him. I'd focus on your relationship with S. You can say that daddy loves him. But I think it can be confusing to say you love daddy....because he's going to ask why you aren't together. Then what will you say?
My 6 year old told me he didn't feel like she belonged in any family the other day. He's been with me, at W's and a lot at grandma's (when W has been away working). I had to tell him that he and his sister will always be MY family. Now he just has more families. And they all love him.
I hate this part the most.
Last edited by Azzork; 09/05/1501:14 AM. Reason: I can't type
The children's reactions are so hard! I feel for you. One of my sons (he has some behavior/sensory issues ) actually said to me " when daddy can't take me anymore he gives me to you and when you can't take me anymore you can give me to daddy". He thought it was his behavior that was the cause of the exchange. I was in tears when I heard that remark. I told him we love him when he makes good choices and bad choices and that I always want to play and be with him.
If your husband is anything like mine, he will think you are trying to make him feel guilty if you text him. (Learned this 6 mos ago in counseling when I would text him how the kids were reacting to his absences)
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
Yeah, try not to think too much about what the kids say. They don't mean it, it just a rough time for them also and things are confusing. My D4 would tell me last year pre-BD she wanted me to go in the big water (die). I took it personal at first but its just how all kids are.
Time to start a new thread.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
