Quote: Does W see you as lumped in with those trendy XBFs?
She didn't say, I didn't ask. I actually tend to think not. She was also saying something last night about how most of these relationships were "on again off again" or short term, and she talked around the edge of the realization that I may have been her only real long term relationship. hmmmm.
I'm dying to have her back in arms. I could so use a dinner-and-movie-night on the sofa with some good ol fashioned snuggling.
Well, anyway, it still sounds good to me. Maybe she will come around soon. You said she thinks OM is nice, etc., but it doesn't quite sound like it's all roses with him.
If your wife is anything like me, she will probably want to help out this guy at the expense of herself because she is a kind person, but she won't lose herself to him. She will wake up. I can feel it.
Quote: I'm dying to have her back in arms. I could so use a dinner-and-movie-night on the sofa with some good ol fashioned snuggling.
Quote: If your wife is anything like me, she will probably want to help out this guy at the expense of herself because she is a kind person
I think you are very right about this. W is and has always been a very kind person. It is something that actually worried me when I got paranoid about the whole sitch earlier on, and started thinking that all the progress we're making is just her being kind to me--but there are too many babysteps in our closeness of recent to merit an explanation like that. And I do get the feeling sometime when talking to her that part of her relationship with him is somehow like counseling or something.
Quote: {{{{{RENEW&W}}}}} That's the best I could do, sorry buddy.
You know, I need to feel needed. I have a need to be helpful to people. I love the feeling I get when I have a friend who depends on me and I come through for them.
Have you needed your wife lately? I am not saying to be needy, but have you had a situation where she can view you as the 'nice friend with a problem' where she can swoop in and be the hero? Perhaps a complicated issue at work? Something like that... Just a thought.
Laurie told me to let my H be in control some times. I never thought I was controlling and figured she just said that to everyone as we hadn't even talked about control issues. Then I realized, if she says it to everyone, it's because everyone has the same need-to be needed themselves.
So, I am letting my H arrange an outing with some friends. I just know he will botch it as he is a procrastinator and it requires getting tickets to go to a comedy club, but he has told me several times he is having fun and I am so glad I took her advice. I make sure to tell him how I think he is doing a great job and lots of positives.
Rottzilla, thank you, I think that's a great idea. So much so in fact that I thought of something within 5 minutes of reading your response. W works in sales and marketing management, and the studio I work with is actually in the process of putting together a press release, so I emailed her the draft and asked if she could give me some comments. Let's see where this leads.
thats a good idea and like rottz said, everyone needs to be needed at one time or the other. I am the same way, I am a volunteer freak--I love helping people. OM really needed me, he had GF trouble big time and I was the one who rescued him! I think she will come around also, time my friend time. Especially since she discusses the OM with you
Anita, Thank you! You always say the right thing. More and more I think time is probably one of the most crucial factors in my sitch, my life's lesson in patience and understanding.
