I hear ya V. I just can't help it. I know I have to try and I will but anytime I am near her I just feel like grabbing her and holding her, telling her she is beautiful and that I love her. All bad DB'ing I know. DB'ing just doesn't feel natural sometimes.
DBing is counterintuitive.
As for how you want to grab her, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is............. Listen, have you ever known anyone that just nearly turned your stomach? Some person who was loathsome? Anyone who you detested and didn't even want them sharing the same air with you? Try to get that image in your head. That is how a WW usually feels about the LBH. Now, imagine him jumping around her, trying to get a little squeeze and telling her how lovely she is.
Please don't send her anymore messages about how much you want to hug her (or anything else). You are shooting yourself in the foot. Don't act on your feelings and think she's going to respond in a way you want. The WW does not respond positively to a H who tolerates her terrible behavior, and then wants to shower her with affection and praise.
This is not the girl you married.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
