You mentioned low self-esteem, have you ever read how to have a healthy one? Ever had any counseling about your parents and other issues?

A healthy self-esteem needs to be one of your goals to work every day. The WW has no respect for a weak H, and every time you break down in front of her, you put yourself back to square one with her. This is of major importance. Find a group class, research the Internet, get counseling, whatever it takes.

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And while I am positive that did not help me. It did feel nice to be able to talk to my best friend even though she was high as a kite and probably not listening.


Your wayward wife is NOT your best friend! Get that part down. Make new friends, look up old friends, turn to us as friends.........but do NOT cry on your WW's sholder. There is only one person's feelings she cares about........and it is her own.

Do not tell her how bad you hurt, nor that you are glad she's happy (due to OOM). The more pathetic you sound, the more it turns her off. You have to learn a new way to live in day to day interaction with her. We can help you with that part.

WW's are tough and only respect a H who stands up for himself and who doesn't tolerate disrespect from her.

I have a small challenge, if you are up for it. Go for an entire week without saying you are sorry. Just try it and see.

Have you read the homework Cadet posted?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!