Need advice for a WW who left Part 3

[Zues126]

Hey DW...we can't help but ask some of these questions...endlessly reevaluating the odds of R, what it would take, whether it's still possible or what we want, how long we'll wait, etc, etc...

Just remember those thoughts are all very draining, so limit your time with them. As long as you know you're not filing this month and she's not interested in R, none of those questions really need answers. What's really important is that you're deciding to hold tight for a bit.

I wasn't able to truly start detaching for 3 months after BD, and it took a crisis that forced me to rock bottom. This was a year ago tomorrow. Wow. After that my world changed forever, and it forced me to accept the reality of the situation and really let go.

Your W isn't your enemy, but she's definitely not in your corner anymore. That's hard to accept, but the sooner you truly get that the sooner you will be in your own corner more and more. The fastest way to get over your dependence on your WAW is to learn to meet the needs she was meeting on your own. Validate yourself. Be there for yourself. Hug yourself. Appreciate yourself. That's why GAL is important as well. When you find ways to get the support you need through other channels, you'll go from NEEDING your W to WANTING her. And, oftentimes, once the need is gone you will see her differently and will have trouble not going to the opposite extreme and being disgusted by her and not wanting her at all.

Anyway, some random thoughts, hang in, and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!