Need advice for a WW who left Part 3

[dwh15]

Having a hard time today. Every time I think I'm getting used to the thought of WW not being around, I get another dip on the roller coaster. I think that seeing her face to face a couple of days this week is taking a toll. I don't notice while she's around but I get used to her again, then feel down a day or two later when I haven't seen her. The kids spent a couple of hours shopping with her yesterday and S18 said she seemed stressed, as usual. Seems to be an almost permanent state with her the past couple of weeks. I know that money is tight; no idea what else might be causing trouble, but I gave up trying to figure it out a long time ago.

I'm finally to the end of week 1 on the new job and everything going well so far. Looking forward to the 3-day holiday weekend. Taking the boys to the beach on Sunday and meeting WW's sister there. I was going to take them regardless, but mentioned it to her and she wanted to know if she could come along. I get along well with her so will be happy to have another adult to pass the time with. I know that she speaks to WW once every couple of weeks and initially was really pulling for us to patch things up, but noticed her attitude lately has changed more to pushing me to be a good father and get used to doing things w/o WW, so I can only assume she's losing hope as well.

My plan right now is still to hold on through around March of next year, which will be 1 year separated. If there are no indications of a change by then, I'm going to have to file. I can't let this sitch drag on indefinitely, and I really can't cross the 20-year M mark w/o incurring some serious financial penalties in terms of spousal support. We will still have 6 months from the file date before everything final, but if I get there, I don't see much hope remaining. Even now, I'm not sure a R is possible, just because there is so much damage, and I don't see my WW ever reaching a point where she is willing to put in the work necessary to fix herself, or our M. I'm doing my best to let go, but seems like I'll never be totally over her.