Friday morning journaling...

I had my first IC yesterday. It was mainly explaining the situation, and she was at first not sure about me not speaking up to him about A. I explained I want to focus on myself instead of him or A, since there is nothing I can do. I want to work on myself being more independent and told her some of my GAL plans. She thought I have a very good plan, though it would not be easy considering the way I have been used to for a long time, but it is possible.
Just talking to someone helped. I will see how it goes.

Anyway, I went out to dinner by myself after that. Wow that was the first time ever I dined alone in a real restaurant, not like café or fast food. It was alright. Not as bad as I thought. I enjoyed the food.In fact I felt a little better after that (not sure if it's because of a glass of wine ;-))

I'm going to dinner on Saturday night with a friend and I am looking forward to it too.

So this morning's conversation
H: So are you going with a guy tomorrow?
M: No, you know I don't do that.
H: I know, I just wanted to know.
M: It's not a guy. Why do you care?
H: You can, you know, I just want you to be honest (he wants ME to be honest????)
M: Well, I'm being honest, you know I don't do that.
H: I just wanted to know, I just wanted to know.

I don't know if this is good or bad. He might think he can be off the hook and feel less guilty if I date? (what kind of woman am I to start dating only after three weeks of BD??) Or he is a little intrigued that I start going out?
I'm going with a gay friend of mine H also knows, so yeah, technically a guy but not, but I don't think I need to tell him everything right?
Doing 180 is sure scary...