Still working on processing the haste in her wanting to move it along. W emails me last night about legal proceedings and what her lawyer is going to do next. I did not reply. That is between her lawyer and mine. I don't want to muddy the waters or reveal my hand.
Having to work out the anger issues from yesterday.
Breathing exercises, quiet reflection, more breathing execises, prayer, all of the above.
She keeps wanting to be friends, sending me photos, updates on kids, updates on the legal process.
I don't want to be her friend. She continues to lie to me. She continues to lie to our children.
How can I move past this??? Will the finality of the D make these feelings go away or will the feelings still be the same.
What is it I fear? Change? Being replaced? Lost family , most likely all of the above. Knowin that she has so happily moved on with her AP? I have already been living the "divorced" life or the past year, nothing will change except the tax filing status.
Ack. Must focus on work. The more I think about it, the more I realize that this was going to happen, it was just a matter of time. I really had no part in this other than being a bit player. So how I play my part in this fiasco remains up to me. Go out dignified/silent or go out with amputation.
I already know the answer. Now how to achieve the objective is the goal.
Took dogs for a long walk last night. That felt good and it felt good to just walk and enjoy the impending Fall. I can feel it in the air.
