Here's slightly more detailed update of the last day or so...
14 MAR: W made breakfast for us. Some OR discussion, I listened and validated with respect as best I could, generally went well. She said that she understands I want our marriage, she knows I have no plans to date or take off my wedding ring unless D, she says my behavior keeps all of that from being too uncomfortable for her, but it does make OM uncomfortable. We acknowledged that things would probably be a lot easier for her and OM if I were dating.
I also told her I was aware of the emotional risks I was taking by choosing to remain comitted to her though all of this, and that I could handle those risks. She admitted that letting things go on for so long was partially her fault as well, I told her I didn't blame her for anything, that we both made mistakes, and that I felt really bad for mine, but I understood that she was moving on, and I said that it was probably best put the past behind us. W got a little sad, but I asked if we could lighten things up then, that I like to see her happy. Did get a hug. I asked her if she would go to a concert with me I had already bought tickets for, she said maybe.
We went to mall, helped her shop for new clothes. I was patient and focused on her, and I had so much fun shopping with her and watching her try on clothes. My "friend of questionable influence" called me on my cell while we were shopping. My discussion with him played into some very good convo for W and I about how my relationships with my friends have changed. Back at the house, I massaged her lower back and a little lower for 45 minutes. Our cat was sitting right next to her purring, and she said he was purring for her.
Later towards the evening, she called and cxld her date with OM, and we ate dinner and washed blankets at the laundromat together. She told me how she had read several relationship help books back before she made up her mind (one of them being 5LL, the others she said she didn't remember). Some talk about OM as well: she is starting to express a tiny bit of doubt about him due to some of his recent behavior. W also admitted some things I had wanted her to be aware of months ago: that she knows a real relationship takes work (it's not always simple and easy), and that she knows she and OM are in the honeymoon/infatuation stage of their relationship and are only starting to get to know each other (and so she is taking it slowly). He had told her that he is seeing her exclusively, he had asked her if she gets a D will she ever remarry, she told him she just doesn't know any of that yet.
15 MAR: 1 hour morning massage for her, handed her warm towels as she got out of the shower on my lunch break, she commeneted on towel rack being loose, I took it down and re-installed it right then and there (a real 180 for me). I am beginning to think AOS LL may be just as important as WOA with her, but QT is definitely first (there is no doubt about that--she has told me many times, and I know its the QT were spending together that has helped us so much).
